Remake Vs Original: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

By: Justin Hopkins

When I was thinking about which movies to pit against each other this month. Kind of struggled to think of one. Was sort of leaning towards The Longest Yard, due to football being synonymous with Thanksgiving, but wasn’t sitting well with me. So, I kept thinking. What could be a good movie to go with the month, where we celebrate by having a massive family dinner, and soon it became clear, that only one family dinner fit the bill. While I did plan on covering this movie at some point, Texas Chainsaw Massacre being in a polarizing state over which one is better, but polarizing with myself. This two, Original and Remake are great and stick with you no matter how much time has passed (More on that later) For all intended purposes, should be right down my alley. The first one was enjoyable and before I watched the remake for this review. I haven’t seen it since its theater run in 2003 and I remembered it so well, because it was one of a handful of movies to legit scare me, but for some reason. Just never have the desire to watch them after first viewing. As always though, this series is all about leaving personal grudges aside, along with nostalgia and give it a genuine honest review as I can. Lets jump right in with the original good times roll.

Special Shoutout to John Larroquette, for narrating both.

  Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974

The story opens up with a narration, telling us that we are about to see a tragedy befall our main characters. Setting the story up like it is a retelling of a true crime. We hear a bit of shuffling around and flashes of grizzly images like they are photographs and then a decomposing body and radio report. Five teens on their way to check on Sally and Franklin’s Grandfather’s grave, to make sure it wasn’t vandalized and plan on stopping at their old families house. A regular road trip, that makes a turn for the worse when they pick up a hitchhiker. Who turns out to be real psychopath. Laughing maniacally and going into vivid details on cow slaughter and even sharing pictures with the group. The situation gets worse, when he takes Franklin’s knife and uses it on his own hand. They get it off of him, but when they try to get him to leave. He brings out a knife of his own and cuts Franklin’s arm, before they get him out. Continuing with their trip to the house. Ignoring the warnings and make it. Kirk and Pam venture off to the swimming hole when they hear a generator from another house. Aware that they need gas, they go over to buy some, and we get our first meeting of LeatherFace, who makes quick work of Kirk and sticks Pam on a meat hook. Forcing her to watch the dismembering. Then Jerry gets it when he goes looking and Franklin falls next. Leaving Sally alone and fleeing for her life.

The story was fantastic. It was dark and gritty. Borderlining psychological by how in your face and mocking the Sawyer family were toward Sally. Laughing at her misery. Characters all brought something different to the table and stood out. The shots were all well done, especially around the deaths. You don’t get much in the way of a kill shot, closest being Kirk, with the body twitching after the sledgehammer shot, but I feel that it works better in this case. They leave it up to your imagination of what is happening and that can be more impactful than actually seeing it.

Acting was spot on. Edwin Neal was tremendous as hitchhiker. Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain, William Vail, Teri McMinn were perfect as four of the teens. Enough praise can’t be showered on Marilyn Burns. Her performance as Sally  was spectacular. Gunnar Hansen created a horror movie icon and one I don’t hear really anything on and that is John Dugan who played Grandfather. He didn’t do much. Decrepit old man, but the little motion and bouncing in joy as he sucked her finger was beyond disturbing. Extremely disturbing.

The thing is, the positives are a double edged sword. The shots in the woods are at times, a bit hard to follow. The dinner scene is one of the best of the film, but the screaming bits lasts about a minute too long. Doubled down on the same thing with the Get’er Grandfather scene. Great, but goes on a bit to long. Then there is Franklin. Still confused on what his role actually is. He comes across as the unlikeable one you want to see die, but thinking about it, I would be pretty worked up to. Our first look at him he falls down a hill when a trucker freaks him out. Causing his chair to roll down a hill. Sliced by the Hitchhiker, and taken to a place where his chair can’t go, and kind of ditched by his group. Plus, him being in a wheelchair, means there is not much he can actively do to defend himself or his friends.

With all of that said, this is still a solid film all the way through. It was unique and terrifying without being weighed down by senseless gore. They let the story, actors, and well timed shots tell the tale, and delivered in spades. Although, I do wonder what happened to the truck driver at the end. He was kind of just left their on the side of the road. If I missed something or they did give one; let me know. Final Grade: A

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003

This time around, the prologue consisted of police footage of a cop heading into the Hewitt basement. Before we jump to the five teens. On their way to a concert, where they once again, pick up a hitchhiker. A woman who is in a state of shock and has to be brought into the van. Who immediately panic when she realizes they are heading back the way she came. After saying that she won’t go back and warning them they were all going to die. Produces a revolver and blows her brains out, in an extremely graphic visual. They stop off at the gas station to call the cops, and show Erin’s ability to use a knife. They are told they have to go meet the sheriff at the Mill and have a moral dilemma on whether or not they should just leave the body. Where they meet a small kid named Jedidiah. Who tells them the Sheriff is drunk at home and Kemper and Erin go off to get him themselves. There they meet a man an old man in a wheelchair who distracts Erin while LeatherFace takes down Kemper. Meanwhile back at the truck, Sheriff finally arrives to collect the body. Erin returns but without Kemper, and herself and Andy to go and find him. Only to be cornered by the old man and then, attacked by Leatherface. Andy tries to run, but gets his leg cut off and placed on the meat hook. Erin makes it back to the van, but the Sheriff returns and places them under arrest, only to begin to torment them. Forcing Morgan to act out the suicide and after a failed kill attempt the sheriff. Morgan is taken and LeatherFace is sent in to collect Piper and Erin. Who dispatches of Piper in quick fashion. Leaving just Erin on the run, but this time, the family is much larger, more demented and not going to say anymore for those who have not seen it.

Signs of a good remake is to take a well known story and make changes and twists on the ball. You get the same story, but add to it, and this movie should always be held to a gold standard for that. We got to see LeatherFace making skin masks and look at what was underneath. The ending was longer and her escape was earned. Then there was the introduction of the Sheriff. In these types of movies, the audience tends to be waiting for the main killer, I.E LeatherFace, but with his character. Being a huge mix of psychological and physical violence added to it. Making him as creditable of a threat as LeatherFace himself and that is a massive task to pull off. Giving Morgan a sort of a redemption arc was a good addition as well. Seeing him going from the one who wanted to abandon the body at the beginning to throwing his broken and battered body at Leatherface to protect Erin. He stood no chance and ended up getting chainsawed, but was a nice moment for his character. The shots again were all fantastic.  Leatherface and then Erin using spyholes was nice. Helping to build the tension. You got a lot more gore and violence shown, with the suicide and some shots here and there, but utilized cutaways to similar effect as the first.

The actors had big shoes to fill, but they did a perfect job at casting. Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, and Eric Balfour were excellent. Jessica Biel was absolutely stellar. Taking the main lead spot from Marilyn Burns, and she definitely shined, with so much more to do. They gave her a slight edge a bit, but showed vulnerability as well. Her torture went further than what the family was putting her through, but also had to take the life of her friend Andy to put him out of his misery. Erin was likeable and wanted to see her succeed. With her longer escape scene and attacking LeatherFace straight up with a butcher knife. Then ran over the sheriff for added measure. Jessica Biel took all of that and blew it out of the water. R. Lee Ermey was straight gold. He created a menacing character and the movie was that much better for having him. Andrew Bryniarski really took the classic role of LeatherFace and made it his own. Came across as threatening with his sheer size and came across more lethal than ever.

Going to tell you the truth. I don’t have much in the way of negative to say about this movie. Everything they did just worked so well. If I did have to say something negative. They could have ended with Erin escaping in the truck. They didn’t really need to have what they had afterwards, but at the same time. It helped Erin’s victory by giving the Sheriff his comeuppance and make off with the baby at the same time. It was nice, but not needed. Final Grade: S

Winner- The Remake.

I have to give it to the remake. As enjoyable and dark and gritty the first one was. The remakes extended story, R.Lee Ermey and Andrew Bryniarski adding so much more brutality and psychological elements. There presence alone automatically rampts up the tension to a high. The family as a whole seems much more lethal than goofy. You throw in Jessica Biel playing a stronger character and they were about to spin it into a much more satisfying and compelling story all the way around.

Thank you for reading

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Streaming Services

By: Justin Hopkins

It can be pretty intimidating huh. What started out as a few, allowing you to cut the expensive cord of cable. Has seem to grow into a monster. Even doing research for this list they just kept coming and coming. Every Channel and Brand and Sport all seem to be rolling out new one every month it seems and if you want to keep up with your favorite form of medium. You have to sign and pay up to do so, and of course, they can’t seem to share among themselves to help out, but we are not helpless. We have the power to go through and check them out ahead of time, and see which ones are best suited for our viewing needs and today we are going to do just that. I am going to go through them and talk about them in some detail and whether or not I would suggest it. Without further ado, let’s start with one of the originators, Netflix.

Blogger Note. I am going to skip Youtube and Twitch. I know you can get great material on both. Binge watch a lot of Youtube myself. Just don’t really count either as streaming services. No matter what they say about Youtube red. Don’t pay for Youtube. If you find a Youtuber or Streamer you like, give to their patron and help them out directly.  

Netflix

I remember running to and from the post office. Eager to get my DVD from Netflixs. God, I feel old. Anyways, Hulu may have beat them to the punch on streaming, but in my opinion, Netflix seemed to perfect it. They had a good blend of movies we were looking for and their own original programing. House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Marvel, Castlevania, Disenchantment, Stranger Things. Even their movies deliver. They seem to be taking a lot of hits in the wake of Disney Plus and an even bigger one when HBO Max debuts, but for my money. Netflix is still a must have in my book. For their original content alone. Prices can bit much, but worth every dollar.

Hulu

I have never seen the appeal behind Hulu. Always just been kind of boring. Mostly, because what I watch I can find through other services. When there biggest selling point is based on catching up on shows you missed and those shows will soon be accessible through other means. Think Hulu may be in more trouble than any of the rest. There original content has never appealed to me and the prices range from cheap at 5.99 to the more crazy at 50. I understand going the Hulu route, but do yourselves a favor and combo them up with Disney and Espn Plus.

Disney Plus

The newest one to the table and one of the best. There is very little that I don’t enjoy about it. Mandalorian has been enjoyable and the clone wars cartoon. The world according to Jeff Goldblum has been a blast. The entire run of the simpsons, and can binge watch them over and over again. They have so many of the cartoons from my childhood. Multiple Spider-man ones. Some that I was too young for and Earth’s Mightiest and Avengers Assemble. There was an issue with episode order for the X-men, but that is such a minor problem that it is barely noticable and will probably be worked out soon. Then we go to Bug’s Life and Lilo and Stitch and we are talking my language. A steal for 6.99 a month or 12.99 if you bundle it. This is a must for streaming services.

Espn +

The third in the combo, and make it quick. If you don’t combo it, don’t. Even if you are the biggest sports fan. Can’t imagine this being worth while. You can always listen to the game on radio and stats almost anywhere. It is cheap, at 5 dollars a month, but still five dollars to much. Bundle or skip.

Amazon Prime

Had no interest in this till I got it for free and now one of my most used. Especially for B Movie Sunday. I am not quite sure the price, but seems you need a membership to Amazon Prime first which is 119 dollars a year, 12.99 dollars a year. As much as I love it, it drives me up a wall at the same time. While they have a massive selection of movies. Seems a large chunk of movies you want to watch, you’ll be paying to rent or buy. The buying part is nice, but when you are already paying for the service. Kind of feeling a bit ripped off paying again, but can understand why. The original content is solid, with the likes of The Boys and Good Omens. For what you get though, and the amazon benefits. It ain’t that bad of a deal. Especially for movie junkie.

Shudder

This is one I don’t have ad it infuriates me so much that I can’t get it, cause I want it so bad. It’s library consists of horror movies and the remake of Creepshow, but because they don’t accept my card. Shudder please fix this. Meanwhile, if you are a horror movie fan, this should be high on your list.

Basic Cable Channels

Alright, I am kind of cheating by combining them, but since only one is getting the nod here. It’ll be fine. Can’t imagine why I would want CBS Access or NBC and I don’t even think they cost anything. Peacock maybe when they launch to watch the new Psych movie, but that would be it. Would suggest The CW, because as far as TV programing. They have the best shows on television. Arrowverse is still going and getting better by the week. You can find older stuff on CW Seed, such as Constantine and the animated movie. Birds of Prey and Everyone Hates Chris and Whose Line Is It Anyways. The CW and CW Seed are the only one of the basic channel ones I would even bother with.

TUBI TV

Okay, here me out. I know, that it comes with ads, but it is nowhere near as bad as TV, and they really do offer so much. They got some really good TV shows and thousands of movies. From great ones in the past to some strange and bizarre ones. You can literally get lost in all of their content. It’s completely free so costs nothing to give it a shot. You’ll really enjoy yourself and if not, haven’t lost anything.

Funimation

My most neglected one. I really enjoy what little anime I have watched and am all ears if you want to drop your favorites in the comment section to guide me to the good ones. I definitely suggest it, for Dragon Ball Library alone and they have just, so much anime to pick from. I know Crunchyroll is a big one as well, but suggest Funimation over it, and will go more into why later down the line.

DC Universe

I love this streaming service. The access to Comic Books and there lineup is vastly Underrated. DC animated has always been the gold bar and you can find it all there. The Batman animated show in all its glory. Old School Justice League and Adventures of Lois and Clark. The animated movies are all spectacular and Their shows. Swamp Thing, Doom Patrol, Titans and Harley Quinn Animated soon to join the frey. There is no other streaming service I will pull for harder, than DC Universe. At 7.99 a month, you won’t be disappointed and hope they don’t merge with the next one on the list.

HBO Max

This one has yet to debut, but is boosting a powerhouse of a library. Rick and Morty, Friends, Big Bang Theory, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, and Doctor Who. Movies such as Conjuring, 2001 A Space Oddity, Matrix. Looney Tunes, Sesame Street. They have TNT, TBS, Adult Swim, CNN, Max, And Tru. With TNT they can look to add AEW PPVS and rival WWE even more than they are now.  Along with access to DC and Crunchyroll meaning they could very well combo CrunchyRoll and DC Universe into the 14.99 dollar price, which would be the only way I am going to sign up for this one. This may well be a massive hit, and do hope them the best, but for the asking price. Just don’t see any reason to add it on to my budget without Crunchy and DCU along with the mix.

I know I missed a handful. Probably some obvious ones, but has to end at some time. I know my opinion will not be shared by some, but that is the best part of this. Yes, there is so much streaming going on, but that means there is so much more for us to explore. New shows to discover. Old ones are back for us to reminisce and bring back memories of when we first watched them and share with friends.

Thanks for reading.

Box Office Rundown 11/25/19

By Paul Anthony

This past weekend we saw the release of one of the most anticipated animated sequels of all time and it is safe to say when people say that Frozen 2 was going to come out on November 22nd of this year you would think studios would stay away from this weekend but I guess I was wrong, besides Frozen 2 we saw A beautiful day in the neighborhood and 21 Bridges needless to say we know which film came in at number 1 which was frozen 2

1. Frozen 2, 127 million
2. Ford V Ferrari, 16 million
3. A beautiful day in the neighborhood, 13.5 million
4.  21 bridges, 9.3 million
5. Midway, 4.7 million
6. Playing With Fire, 4.6 million
7. The Good Liar, 3.375 million
8.  Charlie’s Angels, 3.175 million
9.  last Christmas, 3 million
10.  Joker, 2.8 million

Now this week we have two films opening up but they are coming out on Wednesday to get a few days on the Holiday rush but in the end I don’t see that mattering much so here are my top 10 for next week.

1. Frozen 2
2. Knives Out
3.  Ford V Ferrari
4.  21 bridges
5.  Queen and Slim
6. Midway
7. Playing with Fire
8.  The Good Liar
9.  Charlie’s Angels
10.  Last Christmas

 

Sequel Saturday Presents Inside Man : Most Wanted

By Paul Anthony

One of my favorite movies that I nearly forgotten about because I haven’t watched it in so long was a film that came out in 2006 starring Denzel Washington, Clive Owen and Jodie Foster. The film was creative and had the star power to become a hit and sure enough it did. The movie’s budget was 45 million and ended up making 184.4 million which meant a sequel would happen at some point. Well shortly after the film was release it was confirmed that Inside Man 2 would happen and the three stars would return and once again Dalton Russel would plan another robbery and would be matching wits with Keith Frazier once again. However by 2011 Spike lee announced that the movie had been canceled but movies don’t stay cancelled well 8 years later we finally got a sequel though it was a straight to D.V.D film. Which meant no Washington, no Owens and no Foster. So what film would we exactly get? Well basically the same plot over again without the big stars which mean no real magic but was the film really that bad? First let’s look a the plot.

This film takes places five years later after the events of first film, once again the same bank is set to be robbed because not only did the bank have Nazi diamonds but also Nazi gold, the founder of the bank Arthur Case has been put on house arrest after police learn after and everything he own in that bank now belongs else where, which annoys his son who wants the gold to make up for the money that his family has lost but he also wants revenge, so he orders Dalton to be kidnapped and order his sisters to get the gold from the bank if they want to see him a live. Once again all these details are left for us to figure out in the end so the film would make sense to us and keep everything a mystery. the robbery becomes much like the first one where it looks like it failed but it really wasn’t just this time in a different way then the first film. However no one lives up to their bargains so in the end Dalton who has been masked is shot in the head.

First let me say this of this movie did hit theaters it would for sure be a flop because of the no name cast and the 13 year gap from releases but this didn’t reach theaters so in so many ways for a direct to video follow up it wasn’t bad, sure at times the acting was stiff which is honestly expected in this case, the plot in the end wasn’t bad but it just didn’t bring anything to the table to spice things up but did capitalize on the loop holes from the first film. In the end it was a below average follow up for a sequel but I am giving it a C or 70 percent because I have seen worse but that wasn’t the case for this film.

Friday RoundAbout 11/22/19

By Paul Anthony

Welcome to another exciting addition of Friday Roundabout where we look at some stories that we didn’t cover during the week. So why waste time let’s look at some stories, now this one actually came out last Friday and that is That on November 15th 1989 a little channel launched and that was Comedy Central. We know that this channel launched some famous shows that we fell in love with. These shows includes South Park which is currently still going strong, then you had the very popular The Man Show, Reno 911, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. these shows no doubt made Comedy Central a hit and even though the torch has been passed today shows will never live up tp the first thirty years but Congrats to Comedy Central.

Back in May HBO’s Hit show Game Of Thrones ended and many people were not happy with season 8 though the writing was on the wall to see twist that was coming but now it is being revealed that the crew did film an alternate ending that they did for fun. Now Kristofer Hivju revealed this news but said he couldn’t say anymore about it. There is no doubt I believe him but there is a good chance that we will never see this unless the demand is so overwhelming when the box set comes out.

We now have our first R rated billion dollar film and it was nice to see history happen however when you make a billion dollar off a 60 million dollar budget no matter what the story is you know a sequel will happen. Right now Joker 2 is so called now in the works but the details are still up in the air because Todd Philips who directed Joker actually got access to film two origin films of D.C. villains one of course was Joker now there no doubt that Warner Bros might want both another Origin film and a Joker 2 film but time will tell as to what we will actually get.

Now Here is something that is truly funny and that we all know we are entering the streaming war where everyone has their own streaming service now PornHub has announced they want to get in the act of streaming as well, which isn’t a bad idea but outside of just more porn which a lot of people get for free what else can they do?

Apple is now making more then just phones and computers, we know they have their own streaming service as well and as they march towards having their own movies and shows they did encounter a setback and have suspended the release of their movie the banker because there are sexual abuse allegations surrounding one of the producers of this film which sounds pretty good and it stars Anthony Mackie and Samuel L Jackson and Nicholas Hoult. Until this situation clears up, we wont be able to see this film sadly.

Of one the famous Star Wars characters is Darth Maul who at first seem to died in Episode 1 when he was introduce but people loved the character back that Star Wars shows found ways to bring him back even though his stories seem to have skipped all around the timeline but now many are saying it is time for him to have his own movie or show which now with Disney plus it would most likely to be a show and finally give us his full story which we know he dies in rebels. This still just a rumor and nothing has been confirm just yet.

Ford V Ferrari Review

By Paul Anthony

It has been awhile since I saw a movie that wasn’t a big time comedy or a big time action film but yet it was nice to watch a film that had a good story and it was about cars and about a company that I don’t like. That was enough for me to go see the film, what was I expecting revolving a movie that was more of a good story film then anything else, well I was expecting it to be a boring film that starred Matt Damon and Christian Bale. What I got instead was a film that told an emotional story of two friends that would help change the game in racing and cars for that matter but saw that it wasn’t easy to do so.

So we know who the stars of the film was so no need to waste time there, the plot goes that now Ford and America to that matter is tired of losing to Ferrari and Italy in one of the biggest races ” 24 hours of Le Mans” which in racing is considered the third race of the triple crown in the racing world. Ford starts to form a plan to beat Ferrari which has won 4 out of five of the previous races and the last American to do so was in 1959 when Carroll Shelby did it though because of heart problems he had retire and start to design cars rather then race them. There Ford recruits him and only driver he knows that can pull of the feat is Ken Miles played by Bale. The two work hard with a team to design the Ford GT40. However the battle becomes when Henry Ford 2 and his V.P want’s company racers to drive the car yet Miles proved time and race after race he was the best. Even during the race the Ford company wanted Miles to be a team player and have the top 3 spots go to Ford which Miles doesn’t agree but for the greater good does. later with doing a practice run to get ready for the next race, a failed brakes lead to Ken Miles dying in a car accident and leaving Shelby to wonder in sorrow. it was revealed that their design helped Ford win the following 3 Le Mans after 1966.

The Movie had some good acting to it and the made you hate the right people and love the right people. now we know this was a movie and some facts might have been twisted but that isn’t my point. The writing was good as well, from what I watched I didn’t see nothing that was rushed or seemed out of place with how the story was going. The car scenes were amazing and proved you need to do a Fast and Furious movie to have a good race car scene. In The end I would say go see this movie because you will enjoy it. Overall I am giving it a A plus or at least a 95 percent for a great rating.

Box Office Rundown 11/18/19

By Paul Anthony

This past week we saw the release of three new films. The Good Liar, Charlie’s Angels and Ford v Ferrari and of the three who took number one? It was no other then Ford v Ferrari which made over 31 million, last week surprised number 1 fell to number 2 beating out newcomer Charlie’s Angels but the totals from number 2 and 3 couldn’t reach our number 1 film. We do have some movies that took a fall and lets go with Terminator: Dark Fate took the biggest fall at 6 spots and in fact it fell out of the top 10 already. Last weeks big name Dr. Sleep took the second biggest fall when it fell from number 2 to number 6 this and with what is opening this week its going to be tough for anyone to make money. Our first R rated billion dollar film Joker still is holding strong and remains in the top ten, this time it is number 8. Now this week once again we have three new films opening this week, Frozen 2, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, 21 Bridges. This week gives us a little of everything.

1. Ford V Ferrari, 31 million
2. Midway, 8.750 million
3.  Charlie’s Angels, 8.600 million
4. Playing With Fire, 8.550 million
5.  Last Christmas, 6.7 million
6. Dr. Sleep, 6.181 million
7.  The Good Liar, 5.656 million
8.  Joker, 5.635 million
9. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, 5.247 million
10.  Harriet, 4.780 million

Now here is my predictions for this upcoming week, now this will be a tricky week but I am giving it a shot.

1. Frozen 2
2.  A Beautiful Day in the neighborhood
3. Ford V Ferrari
4.  21 bridges
5.  Midway
6.  Playing With Fire
7.  Last Christmas
8.  The Good Liar
9. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
10.  Joker

The Witches Hammer Movie Review

By: Justin Hopkins

** SPOILER WARNING **

  I think we have done it. Years of watching B Movies and months of reviewing them. Some that could rival any A list movie and some so bad they circled back to entertainment all of again. After all of that, think we may have just hit the bottom of the barrel. I don’t like talking badly on movies. Making a movie is a hard and difficult process and I am more then willing to go out of my way and meet them on whatever convoluted storyline they want to run. Hybrid animals? Sold. Remake a classic? I am there. Sequel to a movie franchise that ran out of steam a decade ago? Why not. So when I say this is bad. Can rest assured it has some merit. There is some good, don’t get me wrong, but far warning ahead of time. There is going to be a lot of negativity coming.

The movie opens up with a Rebecca getting attacked and left bleeding on the ground. Later two people, government agents, come up to her body bag and she is alive. Cut to a montage of them doing some experiment on her. Then we get two of of the most irritating agents. Present her two drinks, water and blood. We get flashes of her covered in blood and the woman agent yelling, what drink do you want over and over, and I started regretting my choice of film to review. Pushing forward to yet another montage of Rebecca training. Along with her learning that it is to risky to see her family, and that she can be killed with decapitation, stabbing the heart, and sunlight. Rule that was broken during her first mission when she takes out a vampire, with a stab to the stomach. She gets shot in the head, but rescued by her ally in the morgue, who pays her with intel on when she can see her family. They would be visiting her grave, and despite the sun out, she finds safety under a tree to view them ( Seriously, it doesn’t. Sun is coming through the branches. No reason this should work. Just keep the bike helmet on) While she is away. Her base is attacked and all of her colleagues are killed. A massive fight ensues, before she is knocked out, by a tranq dart. When she wakes up, finds that she was captured by another one of the Government Programs. Lead by Witch Madeline and.. Edward.. I think was his name. It was hard to hear. His audio was cranked up and was a genuine boring character. They inform Rebecca that a vampire used a page from the book called Witches Hammer to make himself immortal and they need the book to undo it. The book was written by a women whose baby was taken from her. She took vengeance. Killing the man who did so, and then the babies of everyone in the village. She sat down and just started writing the book till they killed her. They journey out, being chased by various vampires including; a dwarf named Oscar. His plus sized lover Charlotte. One with a pornstache whose name I did not catch. Cause I just wanted it to end and I will leave it there for the time being.

The only member of the cast that I didn’t mind, was Claudia Coulter. She was the only one who didn’t really just annoy me. She didn’t overdo anything and the action, while slow and a bit clunky was still nice. There was one thing she kept doing that did make me laugh, but not in the way they were expecting. On occasion, she would just randomly flash her teeth and hiss. For no apparent reason, and made me laugh, because if you look at the pic and see Fionna. The Sim from all of my thumbnails, does the exact same thing. So congrats on making me think about the Sims. In the same vein, I enjoyed the flashback to the Witch who wrote the book. When she was holding her baby, sounded like she was singing the Bayu Bayushki, and that is the Lullaby Hummed by The Huntress in Dead By Daylight. My favorite killer, and that is 2 positives that are based because they remind me of better things. That is not good.

Nothing about this landed. The jokes were so bad and just dumb. We get it, Oscar is small and Charlotte is big, ain’t it funny. The one good fight scene, with Rebecca going against the ninja, was ruined through multiple cuts to either see Oscar and Edward in some stupid Tom and Jerry esque game. Of tiny Oscar running in around the room and Edward being scared. With Charlotte commenting on the fight, while drinking from this guy with two straws in his neck. None of which was funny. Both of which stole drastically from the only worthwhile moment of the movie.

This movie was a drastic let down. The effects were bad. Far, far to many cuts and close-ups and slow motion for no other reason then to have slow motion. Don’t even go for slow motion when it can be used. Then fast zoom in on faces and all of it was cringeworthy to awful. Movie came out in 2006 and has aged so poorly and worse then movies twice it’s age, and I know what you are thinking. Cut it some slack, its a low budget, but no. I am not judging this based off big A list movies, with a budget. That’s the point of B Movie Sunday. To review them based off movies in their caliber and this one fails almost across the board.

Before we finish up, let’s gloss over the end, because that Surprise twist, actually did catch me by surprise. I didn’t see the Madeline turn coming, and having Hugo be nothing more than a spoiled brat was good. It was a smart idea to shake things up. Well done.

If you found enjoyment in this film, I am happy for you. I don’t get much enjoyment on trashing movies. People worked hard to make this movie, but got to call it like I see it, and Witches Hammer was a colossal waste of time. Don’t watch this movie. Skip it. Put on literally anything else. Hard pass for Witches Hammer.

Thank you for Reading.

Sequel Saturday presents Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

By Paul Anthony

This weekend we have the film Charlie’s Angels coming out and right now we might not have any numbers to see how the film will do but we should go back to the year 2003 for this film and that film is none other then Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle which is a sequel to the 2000 film Charlie’s Angles. In this film like many other sequels we have a bigger budget which increased from 93 million to 120 million. The movie was in theaters from June 18th to September 26th and grossed a total of 259 million which was 5 million less then the first. the film brought back most of the cast which included Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Luke Wilson and sadly Joey, I mean Matt LeBlanc. The one who didn’t return was Bill Murray. New cast members included Demi Moore, Shia LaBeouf and the late Bernie Mac who play Bill Murray’s half brother, which makes me laugh but anyway.

So in this film the Angels but solve a case the revolves around a former Angel gone bad, that Angel is Madison lee played by Moore. The Angels must stop her before she sells federal witness protection people to mobs around the country which would make her very rich, she even had a high ranking F.B.I official on her which she kills once she gets what she wants but before she can sell the names the Angels figure it and try to stop her with several battles between them until the end when they finally beat her. Pretty basic plot, nothing really outside of that. Now for the rest of the film, first the acting, nothing blew me away and sometimes it seemed like they were really forcing themselves to be their actors except Barrymore because we all know in her younger days she was a bad ass. The comedy was a miss big time and I know this was a action comedy but when you had Matt LeBlanc, Luke Wilson and Bernie Mac. I would expect a few laughs but I don’t think I even cracked a smile for this film. Now onto the action, the movie does live up the title of being Full Throttle because the action was there just way over the top and if they aiming to be over the top then mission accomplished but it was just not for me.

In the end I am giving this movie a C or just around 70 percent because they did miss on some thing but had a hit with other aspect of the film. Now recently when I saw trailers for the new film I was happy to see it be a reboot even happier after watching this film but then found out that this will be a part 3 but with new angels to me that worries me because in todays market if they copy what Full Throttle did then it will for sure be an flop and big budget movies been having a rough go around but we shall see!

Friday Roundabout 11-15-2019

By: Justin Hopkins

Hello and welcome to this weeks roundabout, and got a slew of news story that I have plucked from around the web to bring to you for this weeks roundabout. From movie hype to sad passings and few sprinkled in between. So let’s jump right in with a huge congratulation to one Peter Cullen for receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award in Voice Acting. Voice of Eeyore, K.A.R.R, Predator, and his most iconic role of Optimus Prime. A man who has brought so much joy through various genres and ages alike. Well deserved fo a man who has dedicated his life to entertain.

Another week by and yet another bit of news from Batman as it appears that Matthew McConaughey as Harvey “Two-Face” Dent, and I couldn’t be more excited for this. I wasn’t this biggest fan of most of The Dark Tower, but his performance as The Man In Black was stellar. If he brings the same level of intensity here, could steal the show and bring out the best in the rest of the cast to keep pace.

Another casting decision came from Tremors 7. Michael Gross posted the cast of the next installment and the big name to come was Jon Heder. This has been a series that I have enjoyed throughout. Only real drop off was part 5, but rebounded nicely with 6. Now, I am really nervous. I love the fact Michael Gross is still involved, but seeing Jon Heder being attached gives me pause. That maybe we have hit the bottom of the well. Holding my judgement till it comes out, but greatly lowered expectations.

I know a little while back, Paul did a story about Martin Scorsese’s comments about Marvel and the slew of actors and directors joining the fray and I have largely ignored it. People can have their own opinion and movies should be about entertaining you. Whether it being horror, suspense, or thrill rides.A way to escape reality and enjoy something for x amount of time. With that said, Bruce Campbell has joined in with some of the best responses in defense of Marvel. To summarize he out movies using the Based on True Stories but basically being bullsh-t. Then doubled down and said The Irishman has more digital effects then any Marvel movie and I love all of this. Bruce you absolute legend nailed it on both regards.

We got not one but two movie release dates. First up is the Mortal Kombat reboot for March 5, 2021. I am hugely excited for this, cause much like the first one. Even if the story isn’t quite their. Fully expecting some awesome fight scenes and in a Mortal Kombat movie. That is all I can ask for. Next one, little less, and that is Black Adam. It’s not so much the D.C movie worries, but from what I heard, they are changing him from a villain and that just seems like the wrong thing to do. Really want to see a villain movie with just a strong in your face, unapologetic villain led movie, and this could have been it. Rock being at the helm is a plus, but even that can fall apart. Release date, December 22, 2021.

In depressing news, Arrow Series finale has been unveiled as January 28th and I am not ready. I really need to come to grips that this is ending. Stephen Amell has wrapped shooting and goodbye letters are going around. I am just not ready. They are giving me so much good in Batwoman and Legends, but Ollie has been the top of the ladder for so long. Not going to be the same without him and Team Arrow.

Alright, to be completely serious now, want to take a moment to send our condolence to the Griggs family, for the loss of their 13 year old daughter, Laurel Griggs. She had worked in Broadway plays largely. With an appearance on Saturday Night Live and role on Louise. Her cause of death was an Asthma Attack.  We can’t imagine what her family must be going through and our deeply saddened to see someone go at such a young age.

And that would be all for this weeks roundabout. Tell us what you think in the comment section, and in the meantime,

Thank you for reading.